My dad died two weeks and two days ago.
Yes, it was expected …. for years. He had Alzheimer’s disease. A disease that sucks the memory out of him and the life and energy out of the family that cares for him.
And, I have been suffering from a connective tissue disease that is most probably Lupus but could be RA. Technical medical stuff way outside the scope of a ER/ICU nurse. But I am educating myself and trying not to become a hypochondriac at the same time. (Dr. Google is scary.) In the era of COVID diagnostics move incredibly slow.
My political push for the life of the bear was sidelined. My exercise was sidelined. My health was sidelined.
My poor mom. She is so brave. She didn’t sign up for being a nurse. It was thrust upon her. 3 years of being the head of the household with a man she loved and made love with turning into changing the diaper of an infant that weighed (at the end) around 140 pounds.
I worked a 12 hour night shift and had a glass of wine so I should stop now.
But this feels good, crying on my laptop keyboard and throwing my heart out there. I love my mom and loved my dad and love my husband and I am sad.